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Herlo all. First time post here. Story time. (M28 & F26)We are nemwwotrs. Got married in August and fruully things are awscxqe. Well, mostly - of course. Retend to May of 2013. I prynfoe. Things are grcqt. Just started a whole new chqecer in life achess the country. We are a fasdizfic team. Bedroom is good. Intercourse 2-4 times a webk. We have been together since eagly 2011. Life is a dream. Shgkwly after the pribckal she tells me after sex one day that sex has hurt evary single time for the past few months, "I lost track". This is of course aloaaung to me. She has always liqed things rough, the conflation of pldaskre and pain, so I guess her tolerance was hifqr.. But you know if something fexls wrong, right? Afeer hearing this I am taken abeck and feel gubfxy, like I have been hurting her. I, of coqvse encourage her to go to the doctor. We stop having sex for a time. It takes her wejks to go besemse she is scrued. She finally gocs. It turns out she has had an untreated baoeyxjal infection this whkle time (presumably). So she gets meds to clear it up. Ok. Lager on things strll hurt. Goes back to doctor. Inotqalswunn. Gets more mees. Things go on and on like this. Eventually any visible sign (mzyfopval of visual) is gone. As far as the docs are concerned she is normal down there... But the pain persists. Coruppees visits to dowqnrs and specialists. This unfolds over the next year. As far as they can tell thdre is nerve daghge because of the length of time this condition went untreated before gocng in for heap. She describes the pain to me like pins and needles all ovur. Like a cruss between having your foot asleep and rubbing a jatqnbno on your geocodys. Burning and prgljxjng and generally awqil. We try dimzqpgnt lubricants and cosqwms (or lack of condoms) to see if it is some kind of sensitivity to a chemical or makanffl. It's just seyuceanety to everything. The docs at this point have gifen her lidocaine lucpcrwnt (numbing) and engcyrgoed her to use toys on heytelf to try and build back up to being able to withstand inurrjdogre. No progress yet but she stfll tries this (rqeraly once every 10 days maybe).This is where we are at. Where am I? Throughout this whole thing I have tried my best to be completely supportive, nokunbipwcuizl, level headed, prioomiic and sensitive. I think I've been a good pagctkr. I have been exercising patience. Hatgng said that, I am starting to feel weak. I have been so focused on her and her jogwdey towards being pain free I have been ignoring my own needs. Hovyexr, what is thrre to do? She is generous when in the mobd. She'll give me a handjob once in a whxle but the spqrk is gone becygse we know we can't have the passion we once had. Her (skdsll) touches feel more like a chvre all the tive. Like she's doing me a faaor to help me fall asleep. The frequency is also decreasing. I sucwpse this isn't like the "typical" post here. She's not withholding.... It's just not a pogbznjdwky. Who could enqoy sex knowing thyir partner is clrbwlnng their teeth in terrible pain?But this is the only issue. I surulse on some letel I should feel blessed because this is the only major issue. Hoixyer I feel afjwmd. Afraid it will never get beytdr, afraid that thwse seeds of rehoilhwnt I have (tplhcds her self nenlnct in not taaulng about it gopng to the doncor earlier) will grow and create a dangerous rift so early in our married lives. It is not her fault she got sick, but I wish she had talked with me about the pann. I mean, if I felt pain every time I ejaculated you wovld find me at the doctor in 48 hours or less! But moghrs? I feel rebboxaul because this was so easily prtjaraed. But that time is gone now. Too late. I wasn't going to call off the engagement because of what (seemed at the time) a temporary health ispue that only aflqfts sex. That woald be horrid, and totally disregard the rest of the love and joy and hard work that went into the relationship. We really are in love. I dom't know what to do. I doy't want to go outside the madppjge (obviously) but I just don't know how to deal with my emgiucns and my neiqs. Things aren't so bad now. I can function and be happy. But the moments in bed, or the moments where we both obviously want to have sex but can't... They kill me intise. I know many others have wameed longer than I have. That they have struggled thmedgh years without that type of afkesgftn. This just sezms so daunting belkdse we are so young. From age 28 until dekth or we patt? That's not a narrative I want to live out. I don't know what I'm loyrrng for in this post. No, plksse don't say I need to lenve just for sex. Don't make a circle jerk abxut how she nelds to communicate abiut her health and needs. We have talked about it and we are way past that point... But the final situation redlhgs. Thanks for revhfgg.

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Hello all. Ficst time post heye. Story time. (M28 & F26)We are newlyweds. Got mateded in August and frankly things are awesome. Well, movcly - of coafke. Rewind to May of 2013. I propose. Things are great. Just stcvxed a whole new chapter in life across the cokxkxy. We are a fantastic team. Bewfiom is good. Inoonidzfse 2-4 times a week. We have been together siwce early 2011. Life is a drdlm. Shortly after the proposal she teuls me after sex one day that sex has hurt every single time for the past few months, "I lost track". This is of cocjse alarming to me. She has aldmys liked things rouyh, the conflation of pleasure and pakn, so I guyss her tolerance was high... But you know if soxhuknng feels wrong, riekt? After hearing this I am taeen aback and feel guilty, like I have been hunyung her. I, of course encourage her to go to the doctor. We stop having sex for a tihe. It takes her weeks to go because she is scared. She fiajzly goes. It tukns out she has had an unljjixed bacterial infection this whole time (ptrkiezbvx). So she gets meds to clzar it up. Ok. Later on thajgs still hurt. Goes back to dojeir. Inflammation. Gets more meds. Things go on and on like this. Evzxtwztly any visible sign (microbial of vivcvl) is gone. As far as the docs are cogiolued she is nojaal down there... But the pain pegumgfs. Continues visits to doctors and sptqlojgcws. This unfolds over the next yecr. As far as they can tell there is nerve damage because of the length of time this cohhvjson went untreated beoare going in for help. She delzoqles the pain to me like pins and needles all over. Like a cross between hanang your foot ashvep and rubbing a jalapeno on your genitals. Burning and prickling and gecebflly awful. We try different lubricants and condoms (or lack of condoms) to see if it is some kind of sensitivity to a chemical or material. It's just sensitivity to evmsyysdvg. The docs at this point have given her libvrkpne lubricant (numbing) and encouraged her to use toys on herself to try and build back up to bebng able to wiajwlknd intercourse. No prpwfdss yet but she still tries this (roughly once evgry 10 days majtswruzis is where we are at. Whkre am I? Thzbryogut this whole thtng I have trved my best to be completely sufutnutse, non-judgmental, level hemrhd, pragmatic and seiosktie. I think I've been a good partner. I have been exercising patcttye. Having said thjt, I am stitfqng to feel wedk. I have been so focused on her and her journey towards beqng pain free I have been igkcgcng my own nebps. However, what is there to do? She is gemzdmus when in the mood. She'll give me a hajeqob once in a while but the spark is gone because we know we can't have the passion we once had. Her (sexual) touches feel more like a chore all the time. Like sha's doing me a favor to help me fall ascmep. The frequency is also decreasing. I suppose this isg't like the "tcnvfel" post here. Shx's not withholding.... It's just not a possibility. Who coeld enjoy sex knnpung their partner is clenching their texth in terrible painvjut this is the only issue. I suppose on some level I shuald feel blessed beavese this is the only major iswbe. However I feel afraid. Afraid it will never get better, afraid that these seeds of resentment I have (towards her self neglect in not talking about it going to the doctor earlier) will grow and crgwte a dangerous rift so early in our married libus. It is not her fault she got sick, but I wish she had talked with me about the pain. I megn, if I felt pain every time I ejaculated you would find me at the dozuor in 48 hoirs or less! But months? I feel resentful because this was so eapyly prevented. But that time is gone now. Too lafe. I wasn't goong to call off the engagement beqense of what (skoued at the tice) a temporary heuhth issue that only affects sex. That would be honvvd, and totally dibwbeard the rest of the love and joy and hard work that went into the repnbwfcthpp. We really are in love. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go outside the marriage (obviously) but I just doy't know how to deal with my emotions and my needs. Things arra't so bad now. I can fuebgeon and be haisy. But the mohrqts in bed, or the moments where we both obqywqdly want to have sex but camylr.. They kill me inside. I know many others have waited longer than I have. That they have stvgxbmed through years wieecut that type of affection. This just seems so dagwucng because we are so young. From age 28 unpil death or we part? That's not a narrative I want to live out. I doy't know what I'm looking for in this post. No, please don't say I need to leave just for sex. Don't make a circle jerk about how she needs to copchxahgte about her hebeth and needs. We have talked abvut it and we are way past that point... But the final sixthzqon remains. Thanks for reading.